Resettling in Paris

Being a third culture kid and having grown up in England, Morocco and Sweden, I am used to moving around and enjoy starting afresh in a new place, meeting new people and adapting to a new culture. I recently decided to leave London and move to Paris and spent this past summer working as an aupair for a family in France. I got to discover new places in France, taste things for the first time and I loved it! I am currently settling in Paris and am enjoying getting used to a new city, language and a different way of life even though leaving good friends behind is always hard.

Uprooting has its challenges and like most third culture kids I have had to wrestle with questions of identity and belonging throughout my life. Who we are as individuels is often linked to where we come from, which country we call home and which culture we are shaped by but these are not always easy to pin point. I personally do not identify myself with one country or people group in particular but see myself as a mix. I am shaped by the places I have lived in and the people I have met and this is a process that continues. At times this can feel unsettling and I wish that I had a place to belong to and a culture to call my own and to feel proud of but at other times it is freeing. I am not bound to behave according to a certain culture but have been privileged to experience several different ones and to be influenced by a variety of ways of thinking.

Having grown up as a Christian, my faith in Jesus has been the most consistent aspect of my life and is a great source of security to me. In each place that I have lived God has been the same even if I have changed. As people have come and gone in my life, I at times regret not having many longterm friendships or people who have known me in different stages of my life but God has always been there and he knows me inside out. I believe that I belong to God as this child and that the Christians in my life are called to be my family wherever they might be in the world. My identity can be secure in that belief that wherever I go my life is in God's hands and that it is to his culture that I am primarily called to adapt myself and to belong to.

The Confessions of Augustine

Although I had heard a lot of great things about the theological giant, Saint Augustine, it took an essay task for me to actually read his Confessions. When I did, I was completely blown away by the beauty and honesty of his writings, (as my classmates soon discovered by my need to comment at every chance I was given in class). Although he is writing in Latin in the late 4th century, Augustine's account of how he came to know peace with God has a way of being relevant even today.

Augustine grew up in the town of Thagaste, in what is today known as Algeria, with a pagan father and a Catholic mother by the name of Monica. He was an intelligent boy, good at expressing himself through spoken word and had a hunger for the wisdom of the philosophers. Augustine never doubted the existence of God but was more intrigued by the teachings of philosophy than the words of the Bible that appeared immoral and contradictory to him. 

It was to Manichaeism that he first turned in search of answers to his tormenting questions about the existence of evil. Here he was taught that the judgmental God of the Old Testament was to be rejected as a malevolent demon at war with the loving God of the New Testament. It was the mind and spirit of man that was good, a separate entity from the evil nature of the human body. This belief allowed Augustine to push away the increasing feelings of guilt that were building up inside of him over the thoughts and actions he knew to be wrong but from which he could not escape.

He eventually turned away from the teachings of Manichaeism, explored Platonism and encountered the influential bishop Ambrose during his time teaching in Milan. Ambrose's rational and allegorical sermons made a big impact on Augustine as did the Platonists' view of a distant and unknown God, but despite all his gained knowledge, Augustine's soul remained restless. Knowledge puffed up his own pride but did not draw him closer to knowing God.

As Augustine came to yearn for the presence of God he was also made more aware of another desire within him – that of rebellion and disobedience towards God. In recollection of his boyhood, Augustine tells the story of when him and some friends stole pears from a neighbour’s garden and threw them to the pigs for no other reason than their own need for adventure and the desire to impress one another. The deed in itself was insignificant but revealed a deeper problem inside -  the inherited state of sin that man cannot escape from.

 As a young man, he battled lust and pride and could not bring himself to let go of them despite the burden of his own conscience. He took a concubine and lived with her for many years, but knew that this was not in accordance with God’s laws for marriage. Later, when his mother arranged for him a young Catholic bride, he was forced to send the concubine he had come to love away and was heartbroken. However, not even whilst waiting for his bride to come of age, could he control his sexual desires and instead took for himself another concubine. He had not yet tasted the sweetness of God and was therefore held captive to the beauty of worldly things. "The enemy had control of my will, he writes, and from that had made a chain to bind me fast". 

It was the doctrine of Jesus, God in flesh, that Augustine struggled the most to come to terms with. Yet as he read the letters of Saint Paul, he came to understand the need for a mediator to reconcile sinful man with the holy God through his perfect sacrifice on the cross. God made himself humble, lowly and weak in order to become accessible to man but in order for Augustine to receive the freedom offered to him, he too had to lay down his own pride and will.

  

Augustine's journey towards finding rest for his soul was long and full of battles but eventually God met with him as he cried out in desperate prayer under a fig tree in his garden. He heard the voice of a child calling him to open and read so he opened the letters of Paul and read the first passage his eyes fell on – Romans 13:13. It was a call to give up the life of sin and clothe oneself with Christ and Augustine took this message to heart, deciding then and there to give his life to God. Although he continued to battle with the temptations of sin, he was captivated by a beauty richer and more satisfying than that of the world and this empowered him to serve God in the Church.

What I find most inspiring about Augustine's writings is his honesty about the struggles he faced and his passionate and genuine response to God. He wrestled with God and he questioned God but then he fell so in love with God that he wanted nothing more than to be transformed by him and to share him with the world.

"Late have I loved you, beauty so old and so new: late have I loved you. And see, you were within and I was in the external world and sought you there, and in my unlovely state I plunged into those lovely created things which you made. You were with me, and I was not with you. The lovely things kept me far from you, though if they did not have their existence in you, they had no existence at all. You called and cried out loud and shattered my deafness. You were radiant and resplendent, you put to flight my blindness. You were fragrant, and I drew in my breath and now pant after you. I tasted you, and I feel but hunger and thirst for you. You touched me, and I am set on fire to attain the peace which is yours."  

Augustine's Confessions, Book 10:xxvii 

Abu Fadi's story

I've recently started reading "I am n", a collection of stories, put together by The Voice of the Martyrs, from the lives of Christians facing Islamic extremists around the world today. It aims to bring to light the suffering of so many Christians across the world who will not compromise their faith even when faced with severe persecution.

One chapter tells the story of Abu Fadi, a Christian living outside Mosul, Iraq at the time when ISIS took over the city in June 2014. He had received a phone call from a friend warning him that the terrors they had heard about in other cities was now on their own doorstep and he feared for his family who lived inside Mosul. As ISIS troops entered the city, chaos and gunfire broke out with prisoners being freed and the cross on the Syriac Orthodox Cathedral of Mar being torn down. Christians packed up their belongings and fled but Abu's disabled mother and sister were unable to do so. Their house was marked with the Arabic letter 'n', symbolising that here lived Christians, known as 'Nazarenes' and they were told that they must leave immediately or else they would be converted to Islam at gunpoint.

Eventually, the two women were able to reach Abu through the help of  a Muslim friend who drove them out of the city. From there they began their journey to the relatively safe city of Erbil along with almost forty thousand others also fleeing from the surrounding areas. They were stopped at an ISIS checkpoint along the way and Abu was questioned, answering truthfully that they were Christians and were not permitted to remain in their homes. The guards refused to let them leave, giving them instead the choice of converting to Islam or being killed. After much discussion and pleading, Abu was forced to his knees and given a final chance to denounce his faith in Jesus which he refused, praying instead for strength, wisdom and courage. Just as he was waiting for the sword to come down on him, another ISIS official arrived and, inquiring on the situation, ordered that they be left to continue on their way with the message that ISIS would be victorious throughout the whole world.

After being stopped several times along the way and having most of their valuables taken away from them, Abu and his family were finally able to reach Erbil. Despite the poor conditions and lack of food and water to go around amidst all the refugees, they thanked God for his protection and presence.

I find stories like these inspiring and challenging. For many people in the world, what they believe in defines the rest of their lives; what opportunities they will have, how they will be treated by their societies and in some cases, whether they live or die. Yet, for Abu and many others like him, the cost of following Jesus is worth it. His hope in Jesus as his saviour for eternity was more real to him than the threat of death for himself and his family and he was willing to prove it. The stories of these courageous Christians who stand for their beliefs in the midst of suffering, responding with humility and forgiveness, must be heard. With this blog, I hope to contribute to making the plight of some of these many unsung heroes of faith known.               

Above life itself

As we are seeing more and more of the violence happening in the Middle East, with stories of beheadings, mass murder and terror, we are reminded of the frailty of life. People in Iraq have been killed in great numbers and been forced to flee their homes because of their faith, many being Christians or other minority groups.  Had I been there at that time the same thing would have happened to me. It’s humbling that we as human beings are so vulnerable.

At the same time, there is great strength in the dedication these people have shown. As they face the choice of conversion, death or fleeing their homes, many have held firm to their faith, showing the world that there is something they value more than their lives here on earth. They place their trust in God, not because of what he guarantees to do for them but because they believe him to be true and worthy of all glory. They believe God to be good even when he doesn’t step in to rescue them but allows them to suffer and even die because they choose not to deny him. That is a faith that goes deep and despite the tragedy and horror of it all, I believe they have won a great victory.

Their courage challenges me to ask how genuine my own faith is and what requirements I have of God for him to be praised. Is Jesus Lord in my life because he is giving me what I want or simply because he is worthy to be Lord?

As the struggle for these people continue, we have a chance to show our support and concern by doing what we can. The Christians in Iraq are asking people all around the world to pray for their protection and provision. At the moment, the town of Amerli in Northern Iraq is in desperate need as they fear being massacred like other towns before them. They have been surrounded by Isis for 8 weeks, holding off the forces with women and children joining the men in arms, but are now critically low on food and water.

When faced with such a powerful threat like Isis, I believe the best thing we can do is to call on the Almighty God and ask him to step in with his strength and mercy. Starting from today, Christians over the world are joining together for five days of prayer and fasting for Iraq. Not only will this have an impact on the world but I believe it will also do something in our hearts as we are prepared to give up a little of our own comfort out of compassion for others.

one body, one mind, one heart

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in us.

But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part where he wants it. How strange a body would be if it only had one part! Yes, there are many parts but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you”. The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you”.

This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.

1 Corinthians 12

There is something fresh and alive about the way the Holy Spirit moves and shapes a church, equipping individuals with unique gifts and strengths, then fitting them together to become one body. It’s a powerful picture! A limb on its own, disconnected from the rest of the body, is lifeless and can do nothing. But when it finds its rightful place, it is a valuable asset, designed for a unique purpose.

When one part of the body is hurting, the rest of the body is affected and hurts with it. It’s the same in a healthy church, as people are knitted so closely together, that your pain becomes my pain and your gain becomes my gain. Where one part is weak, the other parts will step in with their strength. When one part is moving forward, the rest celebrate and move with it.  We are not individuals, competing against one another but we are one body, working together towards the same goal.

As living bodies need to be connected to a mind for them to function, so we, as a church body, are meant to come together under one head and authority. Jesus calls us to be his hands and feet. We are not the brains making the calls, we are the ones responding to his signals and putting them into action. We are not called to create our own mission but to hear God’s word and obey. As the same Holy Spirit leads each individual, we find ourselves living in unity.

I believe that, as God fits the different parts together as one body, connected to one head, he wants one heart to be at the centre. His. In the same way that our physical hearts pump blood to every part of our bodies, so the heartbeat of God should reach each one of us. What breaks the heart of God should break the heart of his church. What angers him, should also anger us. What pleases him should please us. We each have hearts as individuals that beat for unique causes but as one body, they come under submission to God’s greater will. Our selfish desires are exchanged for his desires. No longer is it all about us, but we find our place in the bigger picture.  We no longer live for our own profit; we have died to ourselves and now live for Christ.

thoughts on truth

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” I can’t remember who said that but I read it once in a book of quotes and it has stuck with me ever since.

What does truth mean to us today and how much value do we place on it? Do we value it enough to want it in its pure form even when it isn’t simple, or do we seek a truth that matches our own reasoning for what we hope is true? Does the concept of one absolute truth even exist in our culture or have we accepted the idea that we can each have our personal version of truth, tailored to fit our personality and needs?

What if truth takes seeking to find? What if it comes at a price? What if finding the truth would change everything you thought you knew, turning your world upside down – would it be worth it?

I finally got round to watching the Matrix a while ago and was fascinated by the scene of Neo being presented with the two different pills. He was faced with the choice of having reality revealed to him which would shatter illusion of life as he knew it or forgetting it all and going back to living in the comfortable lie. He chose to know the truth but it came at a high cost.

What if the illusion of life is far more attractive than the reality, seeming easier, simpler and more comfortable? How many of us would choose to ignore truth and remain in ignorance for as long as we can?

It seems we live in a culture that values other things above truth. Happiness, comfort and tolerance are more important to us. We would rather all get along than struggle through the hard questions until we find an answer.

And yet, what is anything worth if it is not true?

An apple can look delicious, but is inedible if it is made of plastic. A roof can seem strong and waterproof but will not keep out the rain if it is made of cardboard. A promise can bring great hope but is of no worth unless it is kept.

What when one final answer is demanded and all we’ve done is agree to get along and avoid the question?    

Ecclesiastes

One of my favourite books in the Bible is the book of Ecclesiastes, written by King Solomon. Although he was the richest and wisest man to have lived, he could see no meaning in his wealth or wisdom. He decided to try out different paths of life and find what was of real value and purpose.  

Looking into wisdom and knowledge, he found that this only leads to more grief. Pleasure and happiness are good while they last but what value do they have in the long run? Success, money and power can be snatched away in a moment. We work hard to do good and to change things around us but what truly makes a difference? In the end we will all end up in the same way. What can we take with us when we die? What do we leave behind that has any value to those who remain? 

His questions are almost depressing and so are many of his answers. Everything is completely meaningless he concludes. Nothing in this life is certain, nothing of this world will ever fulfill you, not a single person on this earth is always good.

Reading the newspaper on my commute home, it seems there are constantly disasters happening in every corner of the world. Somehow I have been spared from so much pain and injustice and it’s not because of anything I have done. Good things happen to bad people and bad things to good people. Some things we deserve and other things happen to us for no reason. It’s easy to feel strong when all is going well but reality is that life is fragile and can be snatched away without warning. After finding that every path leads to a dead end, Solomon turns his focus to God.

“Accept the way God does things for who can straighten what he has made crooked? Enjoy prosperity while you can but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life.” Ecclesiastes 7:13-14.

Enjoy your life while you can he says, but remember where it came from. Fear God and honour him with your life because this is ultimately what matters. I love this book is because of its honesty and bluntness. It leaves you with more questions than before but challenges you to seek out the answers for yourself.  

“If you find within yourself longings that nothing in this world can satisfy, it can only mean you were made for another world.” C. S. Lewis.

Keith Green

I remember as a kid, my mum playing Keith Green at home and telling us how great he was. I didn't get what was so great about him and thought his music was old fashioned. Recently though I started listening to him again and the lyrics of his songs blew me away!

Keith always had a love for music and grew up singing and playing the guitar and piano. Despite his obvious talent, he never had the breakthrough he was hoping for and at the age of 15 he ran away from home in search for truth and purpose. He explored drugs, music, eastern mysticism and free love but nothing left him satisfied. At the age of 21 he finally found the truth he was looking for in Jesus and was never the same again. As he and his wife, Melody, learnt more about Jesus, they felt the urge to open their home to all those around them in need. Although they didn't have much money themselves they shared what they had with others.

Keith had been writing and playing songs about his search for truth but now all his songs became about his new found love for God, shocking and upsetting many in his audience. Becoming a star no longer mattered to him, he just wanted to serve God and tell the World about this new life he had found. This guy was intense and would often challenge Christians to repent and take their faith seriously.

What inspires me most about this man was his humility and honesty. Though he was radical in his messages he was constantly asking the Holy Spirit to change him and show him his own sin so he could repent and be more like Jesus. As he continued to write songs and became famous the thought of earning money from his ministry greatly disturbed him. Instead he decided to let people buy his music for whatever they could afford to pay and put on concerts for free where thousands of people came and gave their lives to God.

In one of his songs, Oh lord, you're beautiful, he writes;

I want to take your word and shine it all around,
but first help me just to live it, Lord
and when I'm doing well help me to never seek a crown
for my reward is giving glory to you

Oh Lord, please light the fire,
that once burned bright and clear
replace the lamp of my first love
that burns with holy fear.

God continued to use him for great things until he died at the age of 28 in a plane crash. Though his life on Earth was short he had discovered the beauty of Jesus and knew what really matters, living his life with conviction, completely sold out for God. This is a man worth listening to!

The benefits of being single

In a culture that pushes towards being in a relationship its easy to miss out on all the great things about being single. It can be a great season! Here are some reasons why:

1. Firstly, you get to really pursue God for yourself and spend time getting to Him better. This is the most amazing and important relationship we will ever have and what better time to seek it than now? You can find out more of who he is, what he likes, learn to recognize his voice and get as close to Him as you dare. If God isn't number 1 when there's just you, why would he be when there's two of you?

2. You have the time and freedom to find out what you want to live for, what you enjoy doing and dream about before you need to match it with someone else's life.

3. There are so many people to get to know and learn from, friendships to invest in and cafes to try out!

4. The single season is a great time to work on yourself and become the person you want to be. You can build on your character and get rid of the habits and attitudes you don't want before someone else points them out to you. You can try a hobby, give it up and try another one.

5. Now is your chance to find out what you're really looking for in a future spouse and how you want your marriage to be. You can study other people and learn from their experiences and mistakes so you are better prepared to get it right.

6. Lastly, theres also less pressure to look good and be sensible. You've only got your own reputation to look out for so why not be a bit silly if you want to?

Theres a reason for the season and this one right here will never be back so embrace it and enjoy it!

I love the random, everyday conversations with customers that come into the cafe! One of my regulars is a sweet, elderly lady who comes in each day to have a sandwich, a cup of tea and a read in the paper. She loves chatting about the latest news or the tennis and the other day we started talking about Margaret Thatcher. According to her, Maggie was great leader, inspiring many women to make something of themselves. I don't know enough about her to have much of an opinion but pointed out that many people clearly didn't like her. Here she looked at me and said "Remember this, an insecure man will be intimidated by a succesful woman but a secure man will be impressed. You don't want the insecure ones around you anyway."
It got me thinking how it can be hard to be around successful people and encourage them without starting to compare their lives with our own. Life easily becomes a competition where its all about us getting ahead and where others become a threat. Making somebody else look good might just mean they get the recognition that we should of had. Helping somebody else get ahead might mean that we fall behind and get forgotten.

The more I read in the Bible, the more I find that everything seems to be for God and His glory. Creation is for His glory, miracles are for His glory and the very details of my life are designed to be for His glory. God wants to be the one lifted up and in control in our lives.
At first thought this can seem restricting. Why should I submit to some higher being who might not want the same things for my life as I want? Shouldn't I have the right and the freedom to live life the way I want to?But then again, this is God we are talking about. If the creator of all actually cares enough about me to want to have his way in my life, why would I deny myself that privilege? If God in all His power and wisdom would bother to navigate my life, why would I want to try alone? The fact that I don't understand it all or see exactly where my life is going no longer matters. If God is in control, then I longer have to be.
Its exciting to see the way God works in people, creating something unique out of there gifts, dreams and experiences. Each story is different and becomes something beautiful as it fits into the bigger picture. Our lives can be significant! If I know there is a place for me and an awesome plan for my life then why compare with anyone elses?

toasted bagels

Yesterday on my daily commute across London, I was reading a book called ”beautiful outlaw” by John Eldredge. It’s a great book, all about Jesus and the sides of his personality that we tend to forget like his playfulness and humor. And of course Jesus would be funny! I mean, there are so many hilarious people on Earth, where else would their sense of humor come from? 
The author of the book shares how Jesus would remind him of his love by showing him hearts in random places that he passed in his everyday life. I loved that thought so I decided to try it for myself and told Jesus I wanted to see a heart too. So, in the Café that morning, toasting a ham and cheese bagel for one of the customers, I lifted the grill lid to find the hole in the middle of the bagel in the shape of a real cute heart. How awesome is that?! That made me smile!
I pointed out the heart to the customer but she wasn’t quite as excited as I was and probably didn’t see it as a sign from Jesus but oh well. Try it for yourself! I reckon God is waiting to make us smile and laugh.

Later that day an elderly lady I hadn’t seen before came into the café for a coffee and sandwich. She told me she had just come over from South Africa. Hearing that, one of our regulars (a woman who comes in every single day for a very hot, skinny cappuccino with as much froth on as will balance in the mug) started chatting to her and asking her about her life. After a couple of minutes the South African was close to tears as she explained how she had recently become a widow and lost her son and had now moved to London. A short time later, these two women were laughing and joking around, talking politics, travels and books as if they had been friends for ages. This regular talks to just about anyone and is often seen by others as pretty annoying  and a little bit mad but I thought it was beautiful to see how she showed interest in the other person’s life and got to hear her story.  There are all these interesting people around us with so much to share if we have the time to listen and be interested. That was my thought of the day…

Decisions

Pottering around in my bookshop café or watching people on the tube, I get plenty of time to think.
Lately I've been inspired by the thought of all I can decide and shape in my own life. Even the simple choices I make are part of defining who I am and the type of life I live. Its easy to complain about life being too busy or too boring but thinking back its often the choices I've made earier that have formed the life I live today.

I decide what I spend my time on, what I say "yes" to and what I say "no" to. There is no end to the things I could get involved with but I decide what I commit to and prioritize and what to let go of.

I decide who I spend my time with and allow close to me. I don't have to wait around for people to contact me but I can make a move myself and try to get to know the people I want in my life.
Out of the people in my world, I decide who has most influence over me, who's advice I take and who's opinion matters.

What qualities do I want to be known for? I can decide to develope them in my life by choosing what I focus on, read, watch and listen to.

I decide how well I take care of myself by choosing what I eat and how I exercise. I decide what I wear, how I treat people and in what direction my life is heading.

I know life is rarely straightforward, fair or easy. Stuff happens, but I still believe we decide how we react to life and what we make out of what we have.
The thought of how much responsibility I have to shape my life is almost scary, but exciting as well!
Who do I want to be? What am I doing to become that person?

God is good, no honestly, He is sooo good!
So much has been happening and changing recently that I've almost forgotten the things He has worked out for me. I have a new place to live with the most awesome room mate in a totally new part of London that I've yet to explore. I'm part of an amazingly, exciting church, surrounded by great, inspiring people. Recently I got a new job in a book shop café where I get to be around coffee, books and chilled out people. Loving it!
The only thing is that it takes me an hour on the tube to get to work but the tube is an experience in itself and a great place for people watching. We all just stand around looking at each other in silence most of the time. The other day, however, a chinese woman broke the mold and actually started a conversation with me. She said she is a doctor, that she thinks I have nice teeth and just before I got off she wrote down her phone nr and handed it to me. I don't know why she did it but it made my day!

God is good! I find He is always trying to teach us new things about life. Lately its been all about persistency, character and doing the right thing even when it seems to be insignificant, boring and pointless. Its about doing the right thing when noone is watching, when those watching don't approve and when it doesn't seem to be leading anywhere.
Thats about all the wisdom I can get out from my brain right now, time for bed, but wanted to share a bit of whats new in my life.  

Sunshine and integrity

Summer has come and I’m loving it (my arms are red and sore to prove it)! London is like a different place with people crowding the parks, bright coloured, flowery dresses, sunglasses, sweaty armpits and big smiles.

Yesterday I went out to the park for an hour to lie in the grass and ponder on the word integrity. Integrity is one of the coolest words I know! It easily gets forgotten and overshadowed by words like charisma, talent and passion but they wouldn’t be worth much without integrity at the foundation. Looking it up in the dictionary, (ok I googled it), I found that the word means wholeness, steadfast, being honest and undivided. A person of integrity can be trusted because what you see is what you get. They are the same person at home as on stage, on a good day as on a bad day. Their thoughts, words and actions line up. You know where they stand and won’t get any nasty surprises. A person of integrity can fail and mess up but keep people’s respect because they are honest about it and quick to own up.

Passion, talent, charisma, big dreams, exciting words, great plans and goals are all good but without integrity they fall through. Character on the other hand, cannot be taken away from you and is what will keep you on track.

Skimming through the awesome book of Proverbs, integrity, honesty and character kept popping up, like in these cool verses:

“God can’t stand deceivers but oh how he relishes integrity.” Prov 11:20

“Love and truth form a good leader; sound leadership is founded on loving integrity.”  Prov 20:28

Love and truth are the essence of God. I went back feeling challenged to build integrity into my everyday life, not trying to be what I’m not but being real to the core, full of love and truth.

Later that day, we took the children to an outdoor pool and spent the afternoon splashing around and enjoying the sunshine. You just have to love summer!

Today has been another glorious day! I started by going out for a short jog. It wasn’t far but I’m proud of myself for actually getting out there despite all my lame excuses. Then I was off to Borough market to pick up a great baguette, piece of cheese and latte and enjoy it with a good friend. Markets are simply great - the smell of food, the bustle of people and all the free tasters! I can’t help but thinking that just maybe the meaning of life is this simple. Maybe we are here on Earth simply to live in relationship with God, love and do life with the people around us and simply enjoy living. It works for me!

We had some awesome conversations, sharing the things we are learning in life right now. I know that life isn’t always sunshine, good friends and food and that it can feel impossible to enjoy at times but somehow God works through that as well and brings us through wiser and closer to Him if we let Him. He is enough for us and the one thing in life that we can count on.

A big group of us spent the afternoon in Hyde Park, having a picnic, soaking up the sun and playing football. Great fun but the football got just a bit too violent and I took the game a little too seriously…

Anyway, tomorrow is church day and the best day of the week. If you’re around in London then you should come to one of Hillsong’s sevices. Even if you don’t believe in anything spoken from the stage, all the lovely people you can connect with make it well worth your time. I’m getting ready tonight by drinking loads of water and nursing my sun burns. When will I learn to use sun cream?

Smile everyone, its monday!
Its been a different, spontanious and pretty cool weekend, doing things I don't usually do and hanging out with some people I don't usually hang out with. Variety keeps life fresh!

On Friday night thousands of people from different churches in London came together for an amazing Pentecost service in Earls court. The three hosting churches have different styles and ways of doing things but we could all come together and be united because we are all serving the same God. Church isn't a competition, we are all on the same team with the same goal. Seeing how many we are when we come together was really exciting!

Saturday started off with a great cup of coffee with a great girl from my connect group at a great café (Grind) in Putney. I ended up going with her for lunch at a friend's place. This turned out to be a top class, eight course dinner made by a super cook who did an amazing job of hosting! Eating delicious food and hanging out with cool people - whats not to love?
Next stop was Louis Vuitton on New Bond Street for a pair of men's shoes. I was on an errand for a friend and felt so out of place in the shop but it was a pretty amusing experince being treated like a super rich woman who shops men shoes at Loius Vuitton. Clenching the bag tightly I went for a drink with my inspiring and wise norwegian friend before heading to a pub for the football final. I wasn't able to see the screen but watching the people who were watching the game was just as fun. So much focus, excitement and frustration in their faces! Thankfully Chelsea won so most of them were in a good mood for dancing all night. Good times!

Despite not getting much sleep, I really enjoyed Sunday at Church! Its surprising how many awesome people there are in the world and how each one you meet brings something unique. One of the things that was said from the stage was about not worrying but trusting God to provide. I love that! Don't worry, be happy. I'm pretty sure it's a choice we make and something that really honours God.

Anyway, I need to sleep right now. Live loving - love living

Hey soul sister...
You know when you hear a song you used to listen to alot but haven't heard for ages and its such a joy to hear it again even though you were so tired of it last time you heard it? At a childrens birthday party this week they played Train's "hey soul sister" and I almost started singing along in front of all the children and parents. I managed to contain myself though and am listening to it now instead. What am I trying to say with this? Absolutely no idea...

Any way, talking about love songs, Rich Wilkersson came to Hillsong's Young adults night last friday and shared a great message for all us single people. Being in a relationship has become such a big thing today and its as if most of us are waiting for that perfect partner to come so we can start living life for real. We tend to think that person will somehow show us who we are, complete us and open the doors to endless happiness and good times. Thankfully Rich burst that bubble for us...

Rich spoke about watering our own grass instead of thinking how green everyone elses is. Go for your dreams! Live your life now, enjoying this season whatever its like, learning and being faithful with what you have. Its so cool how God works things out for the best when we do the best with what he's already given us. He knows us, what we desire and what we need better than we do. We can basically chill out and enjoy each step of the way, trusting God to show us the next step when we need it (at least thats what I think and its worked for me so far). I don't mean that we should be lazy and not plan ahead but that we can relax in just doing our bit and trusting God to do the rest.

Rich challenged us to keep on the right path doing the right thing even when the crowd is going in a complete different direction. Its not always easy but its right and even if noone else sees, God does.
Its beautiful to see how God brings people together to complement and build each other up but only Jesus can complete us, make us whole and give us a purpose for living. If all else was to fail, He will still be more than enough for us.

By the way, I quickly grew tired of "Hey soul sister" again, maybe I'll try listening to it in another year or so...
  

back from Malmö

Hey!
This weekend I've been back to Malmö, my home town, to visit. Technically its a city but, coming from London, it suddenly seems like a small town. Either way, its where the people who know me best live and it was great to be back.
Not much has changed there these past 5 months but I saw Malmö with different eyes this time. I was surprised by the empty underground station, the wide cycle paths, the great amount of trees and the calmness of Friday night in the centre. My parents came to meet me from the train with my lovely bike that I've really missed travelling around on. It was so nice to spend time with them and my sister, telling them everything I could think of telling them about these past 5 months, my everyday life, the awesome people I know and all the things I love about London.
Over the weekend I cycled everywhere admiring the decorative buildings, the diversity of cultures and people and my favourite market. Has Malmö always been this beautiful? I met some of my closest friends over chilled out coffees, ice-cream in the sunshine, waffles and a picnic by the docks. Of all the things to be admired about Malmö, its the people that make it the most special. Each one is different and makes my life richer and more blessed in a different way. I loved not having any obligations but just time to enjoy company and catching up.

Sunday afternoon was spent at my church, United, with great worship, teaching and friendly faces (most familiar but plenty of new ones too). I love the party atmosphere there that is all about celebrating and enjoying life together in all its seasons but also reaching out to the world around.

On Monday morning after my family had left for work and school, I packed my bag and cycled into town for the last time for now. I met a lovely friend from church at one of my favourite cafés and tried to convince her to move to London with me. After that I met Baloo, my leader, mentor, role model and close friend. She's been there for me the past few years encouraging me, challenging me and helping me make sense of my life.

I spent the last hours having a picnic with Mum, Dad and my little sis out on the grass before taking the train to Denmark and then flying to London. Sitting on the tube for the last bit of the journey I felt happy to be back in the big city. This is where I want to be right now and I'm excited to see what God has in store for me here. Each season is different but he is always the same and his love for us will never change.

Colour your world

I was blessed with time off work this thursday and friday to go to Hillsong's annual Colour conference, just for ladies. Wemberly arena, powerful speakers, the presence of God and about 6000 women all standing together. It was awesome, loud and lots of fun! What I loved about the conference is that I didn't leave feeling sad that it was over but equipped and inspired to get back into everyday life again, together with God and the people around me. Here are some of the messages that really spoke to me:

Flourish, baby, flourish! We can so easily get overwhelmed by all the suffering in the world and all that needs to be done that we get bogged down and discouraged or worn out trying to make everything right in our own strength. Bobbie Houston encouraged us to go home, learn to take responsibility for our own lives and flourish where we are planted right now, letting God take care of the rest. When we flourish we help others flourish too. Love that!

A revolution of peace. This world is a mess but Jesus is our peace. We are here to bring his peace with us to a world that desperately needs it, because no matter what is going on around us, we are safe in Him.

God wants to go home with us. Its not just about spending time with God at a Conference or at church on a Sunday but God actually wants to be a part of our everyday lives, move into our neighbourhood and invade all that we are. Priscilla Shirer was saying that its when we invite Jesus to become really close to us that he reveals things to us and life gets exciting.

Sisterhood - she is one, she is many. There were so many of us women, gathering together with the same desire to be the change in this world. I find myself wanting to be the one to make a difference by myself but if we all instead go in the same direction, supporting something great together we can accomplish so much more than all of us by ourselves. I was challenged to grow up, quit being selfish and start being a great support to what is already happening.

There is only one love language - DIE. Christine Caine said it straight out like she always does. The kingdom of God is not all about me and how I best can shine and use my talents. Its about God. We don't need to promote ourselves, God knows exactly where we are and what we are good at. Sometimes we just need to a gap fillers and do whatever is needed for the big picture.

It was amazing to see all thats going on in the world and hear stories about everything God is doing! Even more amazing is that God is the same everywhere and that he actually lives in us and has the same power to work things out for the best in our everyday lives! Don't forget to include him because he is a gentleman (like all the guys serving at colour, walking with umbrellas, opening doors, welcoming us girls...) and doesn't just barge in on us.

Have an awesome day!

Good afternoon!
I'm sitting in my room, listening to Jack Johnson, thinking about how much I like avocadoes (as one does) and writing my blog.

Yesterday Waitrose came by with the shopping delivery. The two year old had just done a big poo on her potty (as one does) which she proudly showed the Waitrose man exclaiming "I done a poo!". He was a bit taken aback but probably felt more motivated to keep going at his job. Waitrose in, waitrose out, thats what its all about.

Its great how children don't seem to be embarrased by the things we adults are. Why should we anyway? None of us are perfect, even if we pretend to be, and we all do poos. Don't hide it, just flush it!

Thats about how deep I am right now. Life is good. Enjoy it and share it! The good and the bad, we all need each other and God to keep us on track.

Hi everyone! Its been a while since I blogged but I want to keep it up and after a bit of encouragement from a good friend I'm finally getting round to writing again.

I am often surprised at how many cool people there are in the world. Some people seem pretty ordinary at first but then the more you get to know them the cooler they become and the more you just want to spend time with them. London has a lot of awesome people that I feel blessed to have met. I love how we all are different and bring out different sides of each other but at the same time we all are surprisingly similar with the same basic needs. People can cause us so much trouble but just about everything we do is for and because of  people. Amazingly I think God is all about us people and that just about everything he does is for and because of us. Don't ask me why!

This week I've been to two goodbye parties for friends leaving London. I've only known these girls four months but we've had great times together and I'm going to miss these awesome people! Its sad to say goodbye but exciting to see how the seasons change and we all keep moving forward with the best ahead. Without change we would never grow. 

There's something about giving 100% in every season and just going all in that I think God loves. Its so easy to hold back, waiting for some time in the future to be all we can be, but we really only have the moment now. I love the idea of living life to the max everyday, taking risks and stepping out because thats usually when God steps in and surprises us with something great. When we do life together with Him we are living for something so much bigger than what we can see. I don't always remember that but when I do it changes everything.

This week I'm especially looking forward to Hillsong's Colour Conference which is starting on Thursday with great teaching just for us girls. There are some power women preaching and I want to learn as much as I can!